walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
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