it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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