im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
