I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
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