i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
