look no pants
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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