Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
