New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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