I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize