Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
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