I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
