I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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