that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
