So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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