big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
