Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Those nachos came to me in a dream
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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