You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
