Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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