My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
