It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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