is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
