The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
