I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
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