I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Everyone says I win the strip club
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
