Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Randomize
