So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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