We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
