I showed him my bush... on skype.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I am never drinking with the goths again.
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