I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize