Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
