I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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