Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
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