do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
