oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
