So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
