Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Dicks are not precious.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
