we have pet lesbian snakes
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
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