I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
