So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
