I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Randomize