She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
