Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
