And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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