I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
She bit a glass in half.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
