what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
