i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
