hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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