I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
