Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
