he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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