Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
