forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
