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• (404): View more from Georgia

  on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.

  (1-404): View more from Georgia

  i can respect that.

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• (801): View more from Utah

  He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.

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• (229): View more from Georgia

  I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.

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• (713): View more from Texas

  Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja

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• (707): View more from California

  Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm

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• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.

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• (216): View more from Ohio

  Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.

  (440): View more from Ohio

  Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.

  Fav 2 2729 913

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool

  Fav 4 498 794

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.

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• (406): View more from Montana

  I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room

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• (512): View more from Texas

  Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list

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• (770): View more from Georgia

  Sorry about peeing on your phone last night

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter

  Fav 0 22 48

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