it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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