I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
