Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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