I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
