Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
