Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
